I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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