I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This baby is an asshole
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
