i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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