god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
