Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
