I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
