"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
