Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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