God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
soo... how was my night?
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