whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
