Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
