I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
