I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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