didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
where am i from again
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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