I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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