What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
