i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
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Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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