i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
