a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
