Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
