why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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