I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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