i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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