do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
