There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
