that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
