the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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