I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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