i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize