You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
