do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
