brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
