I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
