We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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