She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My bed smells like the plague
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
