Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
