but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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