Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize