Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
