you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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