There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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