After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I sprained my soul last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
