Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We are all done wearing pants today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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