Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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