look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
