i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
