just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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