All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
