well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
