you would pick up someone in the library
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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