Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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