Apparently you make a good broom.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
