We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
