He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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