I don't usually arrange sex via text message
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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