grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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