just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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