I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
