I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
