I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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