you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
