my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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