I just saw a hot homeless man
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize