I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My cat gives me a boner
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
